it's hard to focus when events take place in your life. people and places and things. sometimes i feel like i'm falling into a deep dark hole and i can't climb out. i felt this way today when i woke up. i checked the mail and got a package from a close friend of mine. it was our correspondence booklet. we both decided to write back-and-forth to each other in order to keep in touch without having to use the phone i guess. i actually have correspondence with three close friends now, but this one is different. the writing is a double edged sword, because it has two sides to it. at least, that's what i think anyway... my stomach is hurting a bit from all this. on top of that, i woke up from a horrible dream. in this dream i was going to jail for eight months and wasn't allowed to write or keep in touch with anyone. i remember in the dream, me, counting the months out on my fingers. i went in during january and wouldn't be out until september or so. i would miss falls creek and all the other summer events i usually attend. i then thought that everybody hated me and my family hated me. i can't really remember what i went to jail for, but i think it was for something totally stupid. something i could have prevented from happening. so, what do our dreams mean??? i have always liked the line, "i want to see movies of my dreams" from the song "car" by Built To Spill. man, the year has just started and i can see a lot already. way too much information to remember from the things i see. my mind, it's like a file cabinet. i keep track of all the things that happen to me and everyone else. i remember them and keep it all inside. i have been doing this sort of thing since i was a child. it's a tough way to handle things, but i'm thinking that it's all for something. i just need to figure out how to put it all into use.
i want to go back to some brit-pop for a bit. this was an awesome band that got huge then quickly faded away into the depths of music hell. they were called The Happy Mondays.
these dudes were a part of the "madchester" scene in manchester england. they were on top of the world during the early 90's rave scene there and because of that, these guys became rock stars. lead singer, shaun ryder, is the stuff of legend. well, maybe just there. you see, these guys did sooooooooo many drugs that they all became fried!!! well, maybe just shaun. the band formed in 1980, and broke up in 1993 at the end of the rave culture and the birth of grunge. the band reformed a few more times and in 2007 performed at Coachella Arts and Music Festival. the people who witnessed that event quietly mentioned how "out of it" shaun ryder and the band looked. times are tough for those who hurt themselves like these guys did. oh, and don't forget the band's mascot and drug guru, bez, or simply "x". this guy has an usual high tolerance for drugs and often at times would be dropping acid or ecstasy or anything else. all this guy would do is dance on stage and shake a pair of maracas. yeah, the greatest band mascot of the 90's for sure...
despite all the mess of this band, they made great music that can make you dance as well. they were signed to factory records which was home to Joy Division and New Order, so that makes them cool in my book. so, here today i have two of their albums. first is the debut which has a really long title. it's called, Squirrel and G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile And Then Some (White Out). heh heh, yeah it's like that. and second we have Pills 'n' Thrills and Bellyaches. this last one is my personal favorite. so with that, here's some interesting dance/rock music for you to hopefully enjoy. so, ENJOY IT!!! ha ha... ugh
when is the day gonna come where i can be totally happy for once???