Am i on my own...

i've had plenty of time to think about lots of stuff. i'm nowhere near close to any answer after all of that... i don't think the answers are supposed to come that easy, or at least during a really long shower. still, i do think quite a bit and most of the time i can sort of figure out the point, but usually it's all a big fail. (face palm) i think i'm doing alright, but these past few weeks have been trying me and my nerves all over. it makes things unclear all the time and that is scary to me. i need some sort of straight path to follow in order to do what is right. my faith helps me as well as my family, but still again, it all becomes too much sometimes and i need a little break here and there. i'm glad i just spent the weekend with my best friend. he's a great guy and is living his life with a family and such. he has become an inspiration to me. an inspiration to get the facts in order and to be a good person. thanks mike!!!

on the way home from mike's, i jammed some of this next artist. these guys are legends in the punk community and are always known to have very intense, but intimate and fun live shows. they hail from richmond, home of many great punk bands. ladies and gentlemen, i present, Avail.



one of them orgcore bands that many scream over, avail have been playing all sorts of shows since 1987. if you happen to check out their myspace you might see their bio saying that they are on "permanent standby" or better yet, broken up. the term i hear many times over is "indefinite hiatus" which is a fancy word for broken up. bands just need to say broken up instead of all these other types of excuse words. bbbbbbuuuuuuuuttttttt, somewhere in the nether regions of the punk world comes an itch. an itch to play again. yes, a lot of these bands sometimes get together for one last hurrah, or maybe a few festivals here and there. i guess that's why the terms may sometimes work. ha ha heh heh... heh...



i have two of their albums here that i have in my collection. these are my faves and i know you all will like them too. first is their amazing lp 4AM Friday and second is Over the James which is another classic and one that takes the band even further into their incredible musical talent. enjoy!!!


http://www.mediafire.com/?yy2z3qc3zyj


http://www.mediafire.com/?i4miztznwjj

been looking from outside
i've been watching
but i don't know what to say
changed the old backdrop
same face
but not who it used to be
trying to get our not out getting
thinking, you're everything you said
you wouldn't be
time out, i see right through
you're running around again
i'm around
and still confused in an instant
can't quite relate
and i don't know what to say
all of the bonds i see
that i'm not part of
it's not how it used to be
you're running around again
i'm around
and i've been cracking on the inside
it gets worse each day
and i don't know what to say
keeping my distance
but still i see
it's not how it used to be
bushing the time in a daze
wondering how it got this way
time out, i've gotta ask it
am i on my own?
truth
numbed by feelings
truth