what a strange day this sunday has been. i'm back home now, typing this post and currently thinking about what happened to me. you see, i felt rather uneasy as i sat in church today. my chest was under a lot of pressure, and my thoughts were all over the place. it was my anxiety attacking me again and it happens all the time at church. actually, it's been happening to me almost everyday. i'm going to get myself checked out by a doctor somewhere as soon as possible. i need to get to the bottom of this. i'm really believing that my depression situation is being caused by a physical thing. if not, then it must be something else. recently, my personal problems haven't been hurting as much, and those old thoughts that used to plague my mind have been subdued somewhat, but there is still something wrong with me and i'm really tired of it.
my poor dog looks so sad when i give him notice. he has these eyes that just pierce straight through you. he looks at you with want and need. i'm not a good pet owner. i don't spend enough time with the poor thing. he lays on our back yard deck, usually staring at us through the glass door. i sometimes think he will die hating us, hating me especially. i gave him his name. originally it was chewy, because when he was a puppy he was always chewing on objects and biting us on the ankles. dad put a stop to that, and sent him outside. he's grown up in our backyard and over the years has seen it become smaller due to the deck, shed and doghouse that he's scared to use. his name is now chewbacca, and he answers to that. i should take him out for more walks, but i always forget. i'm too tied up in my own world of really bad crap to take notice to this living thing a few feet from this computer. my poor poor dog. i remember the two dogs i had from my childhood. there was otto, the white terrier and chloe, the very protective and pretty doberman. they were fun loving, happy dogs. they always chased each other and barked off strangers and other animals. eventually otto became sick and was put to sleep. shortly after that my parents divorced and we all left that house and chloe too. i hope she didn't hate me in her last moments. so, you might be asking, "why didn't you take her with you???" well, i don't really have an answer for that. were just terrible people sometimes. if you ever have pets, please treat them like you would a loved one, and by that i mean a person. animals know and feel more than you think they do...
here is some old dance music from the 90's that i fell in love with and have been a fan of ever since. this duo goes by the name of, The Chemical Brothers.
this is hard to write with a normal attitude since everything sucks right now, but here goes. the chemical brothers were first heard by me one late late LATE evening on MxTxVx, back when they actually played music videos and were not polluting people's minds with retarded crap aimed at the teenage and young adult demographic. you see, there used to be this show called, Amp, that aired from around 1997 to 2000 or so, and on this program you would get all the latest dance music video's shown from around the world. these stood out to me for their crazy experimental nature, as well as their length that had some of them being over five minutes or so. it was on this show that i first discovered dance/electronica music. artists like, the chemical brothers, Daft Punk, Cornelius, Aphex Twin, Autechre, The Prodigy, Future Sound Of London, Tricky, Goldie and Underworld, among others just as good. this was an awesome time for me when i first began my musical journey, and i hold it very close. the 90's are my favorite time in music, and nothing has topped it.
so, the chemical brothers formed in 1992, and have been performing their own dance music ever since. to this day, they have release over six albums of material as well as several live albums and compilations. they have toured the world over, and often get asked to play several large music festivals, usually during the late night hours. i still listen to these guys today, and it will never get old to me, despite all the hate i sometimes get from those who just flat out don't like techno/dance music. ha ha, oh well, whatever!!!
so, here you will find all their stuff!!! we first start with the debut album, Exit Planet Dust, then we follow that up with one of my favorite albums of all freekin' time!!! this particular album is called, Dig Your Own Hole, and it still ranks as my favorite electronic album of all time as well as favorite album cover of all time. there isn't really that much to the cover, but for some odd reason, i've always been attracted to that black-and-white picture. i'd often try drawing it, and it still inspires me when i take pics from a side angle which is my favorite angle to be shot from. (pictures i mean!!!) dig your own hole also has all their best tracks, like "setting sun" "block rockin' beats" "elektro bank" and "the private psychedelic reel". okay, so in third place is the album, Surrender, which features the awesome song, "how does it feel" which was made into a music video, directed by michel gondry. in fourth place we have the album, Come with Us. this also has some great tracks like, "it began in afrika" and "star guitar", the latter of which was made into a video by gondry again. after that we have two more albums, Push the Button and We Are the Night. i honestly have not listened to those two albums ever, so don't hold it against me if you think they are crap. they both won grammy's for best electronic albums of the year when they came out, so hey, they might not be crap. heh heh ENJOY!!!
how does it feel, to treat me like you do...